The Trance of Unworthiness: Recognizing Our Stories
Have you ever felt, “I’m not enough”? That quiet voice of self-doubt is what Tara Brach, in her life-transformative book Radical Acceptance, refers to as “the trance of unworthiness.” It’s the deep-rooted belief that anything is wrong with us that quietly shapes how we live, love, and dream.
From an early age, most of us learn to measure our value through performance and success. We chase approval for our performance, equating our worth with how much we achieve, how well we motivate, or our level of success. We put on masks of competence, even when we get exhausted, tired, uncertain, or afraid. Yet beneath all that struggle, a silent ache lingers: What if I could do better? Maybe I’ll be enough.
Tara Brach inspires us, “Feeling that something isn’t right with me, is the invisible and toxic gas you’ve been breathing since you were young.“ This isn’t just emotional discomfort; it’s a trance that numbs our capacity for joy, creativity, and connection. It helps us to keep aiming high instead of relaxing, proving instead of being, we need to fix what was never broken.
Waking Up to the Trance
The path toward healing begins with awareness. When we understand our inner dialogue, which compares the “should,“ the subtle ways we criticize ourselves, we see the trance for what it truly is: through our stories. Listen to your inner voice, when you hear it say “Do more,“ take a gentle breath and ask yourself, “What if I’m already enough, right now?” That moment of awareness is decisive as it weakens the grip of self-judgment and creates space for compassion. It’s a small yet radical act of rebellion against the cultural pressure to prove ourselves constantly.
You don’t need to struggle to earn your place in the world; you already belong here. You don’t have to wait until you’ve “fixed“ everything before you can rest. When you understand who you are, you begin to wake up from the trance of unworthiness and return to the truth of your inherent wholeness.
The EmpowerHer Invitation
At the EmpowerHer Book Club, we’re currently reading “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach. This is not just a book; it’s a mirror, a guide that reflects the various parts of ourselves that we’ve forgotten to love. Each week, we give you a space for reflection, growth, and honest conversation. Our private meeting sessions are diverse; they aren’t only meant for reading; they’re about awakening. We welcome our members to share their “aha“ moments; stories of stillness, courage, and the powerful realization that worth is not something to be remembered.
We encourage you to join us at EmpowerHer Book Club, where you can both learn and teach, offering your insights, asking questions, and sharing your own life experiences. Ask yourself these questions today:
- What story of “not enough“ has shaped the way I show up in life?
- What would I change in life if I met myself with kindness instead of criticism.
- Remember, self-acceptance is not complacency; it’s deciding also to love others. When we accept ourselves fully, we don’t stop evolving; we simply evolve with gentleness.
