When Helping Hurts: What To Know About Vicarious Trauma

We often talk about trauma in terms of what happens to us…

But what about what we carry for others?

Whether you’re a caregiver, advocate, therapist, educator, or simply someone who shows up for others day after day, you may be experiencing something called vicarious trauma. It’s that quiet exhaustion, that heavy ache you can’t quite name—the emotional residue of witnessing the pain of others, even when you’re not the one directly experiencing it.

Let’s be honest: this work is sacred. But it’s also hard. And no one talks enough about how it affects the helpers, the holders, the healers.

You show up, give, and you hold space for others day after day, and the pain you witness inevitably becomes something you carry.

Vicarious trauma is real. And it’s heavy.

For those in helping roles, this quiet erosion of emotional well-being often goes unspoken, buried under layers of professionalism and purpose.

The work you do matters. But that doesn’t mean it should cost you your peace.

Can you relate to any of these feelings?

• Deep empathy turning into deep depletion.

• Compassion fatigue stealing the joy you used to find in your work.

• A constant sense of alertness or dread, even when things are “fine.”

• Guilt for needing space or rest when others are suffering.

This isn’t weakness. It’s your body and heart sounding the alarm that something needs care—you.

You Don’t Have to Choose Between Purpose and Peace

I know this path well. With a background that spans law enforcement, leadership, and emotional intelligence, I understand what it means to serve and what it means to lose yourself in the process. It’s why I’m so passionate about the work I do now, because I’ve done the work myself.

I’ve found the gaps and know how to bridge them:

• Unpack the silent weight of vicarious trauma.

• Learn emotional regulation tools to navigate overwhelm with grace.

• Build a personal practice of self-love, self-trust, and self-respect.

• Gain community with others who get it—no over-explaining needed.

This is about leveling the emotional playing field—so you can keep showing up with heart, without losing yourself.

It’s Time to Put You on Your Own Priority List

You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can’t carry everyone else’s pain without tending to your own. And you’re not meant to.

Healing doesn’t mean walking away from your calling—it means learning to honor yourself within it.

You deserve support. You deserve peace. And you don’t have to do this alone.

✨ Join me in the Leveling the Field program and start the journey back to yourself. 

Because your mental health isn’t a luxury—it’s your foundation.

Connect with me, Dr. Falisa Asberry, and Peacock Training and Consulting Group on our socials!