A Strong Sense of Self: How to Have It and Why You Need It…

In this life, you will need to use confidence as a tool to navigate the twists and turns ahead with grace and compassion. A strong sense of self will turn every detour into an opportunity for growth.

I’ve experienced numerous career (and life) pivots since high school. If someone had told me that joining the police force when my daughter was born would lead to a Ph.D. in psychology and helping others find radical self-love, I would have never believed it. Life is unpredictable, but embracing all the possibilities and your authenticity can lead to extraordinary paths.

Be patient, celebrate every step forward, and never be afraid to radiate the uniqueness of who you are. I’ve got some golden nuggets of wisdom for you in this blog post and my hope is that with these you’ll develop a strong sense of self-assurance. I want you, especially the teenagers and young adults reading this, to have that because self-confidence and esteem will help you to overcome life’s challenges and actually achieve your dreams.

As we head into this topic, let’s get our mindset right. Say this to yourself… “I believe in the incredible journey that lies ahead. I believe in my abilities. I believe that I am enough.”

Techniques for Building Self-Confidence

Building self-confidence is one of those skills that just takes time. It grows deeper and more true with life experience BUT that doesn’t mean it can’t be just as strong and real in your developmental years. To really cultivate it, you need to understand what its purpose truly is.

Confidence is not purely external. At its core it empowers you to believe in yourself, overcome obstacles, and achieve your goals. It allows for us to see the beauty and strengths in others better, because it keeps us from comparing ourselves to them in a negative or resentful way.

Confidence is the foundation for self-esteem, which can be a rollercoaster for anyone but especially young women and girls. They are not synonymous, but they are definitely best friends. Because when you have the confidence in yourself to trust that who you are is good enough, you will have the love for yourself to show up like it.

I want to give you some effective techniques to boost your self-confidence. I also implore you to seek support from a therapist, life coach, or trusted mentor if you feel like it’s a struggle for you to find self-assurance and confidence in yourself right now. It can be tough for everyone depending on their circumstances, home life, and health. Everybody needs help sometimes and I hope that these few things bring some more light into your mind and soul, but I encourage you to reach out should you need some more.

• Positive self-talk: One of the most powerful tools for building self-confidence is positive self-talk. Replace negative thoughts with affirmations. Instead of saying, “I can’t do it,” tell yourself, “I am capable and will give it my best.” I know it seems simple, but your brain is wired to program thinking patterns by repetition, so the more you do this, the sooner your brain will become growth fixated rather than basing everything on past experiences or fears.
• Set achievable goals: Setting realistic goals is very helpful for building self-confidence. Break bigger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way, it gives a more tangible sense of achievement and confidence. Again, it’s the more frequent, simple things we do to get our brain on board with where we want to be, not necessarily where we are.
• Face your fears: Confronting fears head-on can do wonders for self-confidence. Identify your fears and take small steps to overcome them. The more you practice, the more confident you become.
• Embrace failure: View failure as a learning opportunity rather than a reflection of your worth. There is not a single successful person who has not at some point fallen flat on their face, felt the sting of embarrassment, or made a situation awkward. It’s the choices you make in the face of those moments that define you. Every great success comes with hiccups and missteps. Analyze setbacks, learn from them, and use them as stepping stones to success.
• Surround yourself with positivity: Positive influences greatly impact self-confidence. Seek friends and mentors who believe in your abilities and uplift you. Avoid negative influences that undermine your self-belief.
• Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is crucial for building self-confidence. Prioritize sleep, hydration, nutrition, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Your physical health impacts your mental health and vice versa. Start showing yourself the care and love you deserve and watch some magic happen around you (and within you)!

Positive Self-Esteem

Self-esteem refers to how we perceive and value ourselves. It affects our confidence, decision-making, and overall well-being. High self-esteem leads to confidence, while low self-esteem can brew feelings of doubt and insecurity.

• The first thing you need to do is learn more about YOU. Self-awareness is key to building positive self-esteem. Identify your unique qualities and talents. Embrace your strengths and excel in your pursuits.
• Next, I need you to treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge mistakes as opportunities for growth. You’re in the early stages of creating a life you love—be encouraged by the journey ahead.
• Start surrounding yourself with positivity! Positive influences are your lifeline. Seek friends who uplift you, take breaks from unsupportive media, and set boundaries with negativity. Authenticity and confidence will attract the people meant for you.
• Celebrate achievements, no matter how small. Life is about living, so be proud you’re living it!
• Prioritize activities that relax your mind and body. Whether reading a book or singing a song, self-care is essential for maintaining positive self-esteem. Make time for the hobbies or activities that warm your heart and bring you joy.

Additional Support

Remember, your journey to self-discovery is uniquely yours, and having the right tools can make all the difference. I’ve dedicated my career to creating resources that empower individuals like you to find balance and success, even in the hardest of life’s challenges. After a successful workshop with teenagers in Cleveland, Ohio, I’ve compiled the curriculum I teach into an ebook designed for you to start your journey at home. I’ve priced it at only $5.99, it’s a small step with significant returns in your mental health and personal success. As a Ph.D. in Psychology and trained therapist, I’m here to support your growth every step of the way. Our team is here for you should you need us. Check out the eBook here and know that no matter what’s next, I’m rooting for you and you ARE enough!